The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be
the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing
publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and
it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and
"w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of
a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
Ha ha ha ha ha... "oza pepl".
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