Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink,  I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think  about the workers in the brewery and all of their  hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they  might be out of work. Then their hopes and dreams  would be shattered.
    

     Then I say to myself, "It is  better that I drink this beer and let their
     dreams  come true, than to be selfish and worry about my  liver."

      -- Jack Handy


      I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they  wake up in
      the morning, that's as good as they're  going to feel all day.

      --Frank Sinatra


      An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to  spend
      time with his fools.

      --Ernest Hemingway


      When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

      --Henny Youngman


      24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

      --Stephen Wright


      When we drink, we get drunk.

      When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

      When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

      When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

      Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

      -- Brian O'Rourke


      Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be  happy.