Development: "You want answers?"
Marketing: "I think we are entitled to them!"
Development: "You want answers?!"
Marketing: "I want the truth!"
Development: "You can't handle the truth!!! Son, we live in a world that requires software. And that software must be built by people with elite skills. Who's going to build it? You, Mr. Marketing? You, Mr. Sales? You, Mr. Finance? You, Mr. Human Resources? I don���t think so.
We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at our open work areas and you curse our big screen monitors. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know - that while the cost of delivering software may be excessive, it drives revenue and saves money. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives BUSINESS!
You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings... you want me managing the project. You NEED me managing the project!
We use words like refactoring, test-driven development, continuous integration, sprint, velocity, and release planning. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent delivering something. You use them as a punch line!
I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of software I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you log in to a computer and write some code. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync [insert favorite feature here] feature?"
Development: "I did the job I was hired to do."
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync feature?"
Development: "I delivered the release on time."
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync feature?"
Development: "You're g%$#@*& right I did!"
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